Ebb and Flow

There is an ebb and flow to life. Highs and lows.

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Some days we are just so grateful for everything, some days,

not so much.

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During times of the lows, it is easy to stay down, to just give in

to the feeling of sadness, loneliness, grief, resentment and even

anger.  All those feelings are ok, we can feel them, we can wallow in

them and even find comfort in them.

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But, for me, I don’t like those feelings.  I like calm and balanced.

Something I strive for.  I may be a little boring for some, a little

too low keyed.  Or some may think I don’t have enough fire.

(Oh, but I do when necessary!)

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With the passing of my Dad a few weeks ago, I felt like doing nothing.

Making things, creating, getting my hands dirty is what I am made of,  but

that didn’t interest me…..until I heard my Dad’s voice say “Create or learn something

new everyday.” Which he did every single day of his life.

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This is how I am being genuine and true to myself.

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Even if it is just creating a small flower arrangement or

a tiny clay tile.  Learning a new word in another language,

honing my amateur photography. Something new everyday.

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Pottery is instilled in me.  It is my favorite art medium.

I love to pound the clay to ready it for throwing.  That lets

out so much aggression!  Throwing on a wheel is like meditation to me.

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Not every piece is perfect.  A client called my work, perfectly

imperfect.  I will take it.  I am not perfect, I am being shaped by

a higher power.   I do not strive for perfection, but rather, usefulness

and aesthetics.

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Being in my studio, with all the things I love around me,

is where I love to be.  I have lovely paintings created by my Mom and

Dad.  Sculptures by friends, lots of treasured gifts and pieces

of nature that I have picked up or family and friends have given

me.  Photos of my kids and grandkids.  It is messy, unorganized and

just a juxtaposition of stuff.  But it is home base.

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It is where I go to feel the ebb and flow of life.  To get a

grip, to celebrate, to decompress.  I am not much on talking

to others about my problems or achievements.  (My husband and closest

friends are the exception, they get an ear full!) I know I

can go into my studio, crank up the music, cry, pitch a fit, dance.

I know that whatever I create that day will be a part of my ebb and flow.

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You don’t have to be an artist to create.  Being a great cook,

designer,  gardener is creating.  Being a good person, understanding

and listening.  Being fair and non judgmental.  Having a goal, striving

to be the salt and light.  All of this is creating and being useful.

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So whatever you ebb and flow is today, go with it. Feel it.

But do something that is useful and beautiful, even if it is just

for today.

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Be blessed.

Until next time, much love,

Cindy

Hebrews 4:16

 

Loud quiet

I have noticed lately how loud the world is becoming.  Even on a quiet day there is noise.  Cell phones buzzing and dinging for our attention, fitbits and Apple watches vibrating to walk more or check that instant message.

Reminders going off on iPads and Alexa.  All first world problems.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is all part of the way we live now.  I am just as guilty.  I check my iPhone for emails and messages, posting photos on my facebook and instagram.  Setting alarms and reminders.

Then, something happens and makes you step back and want to actually enjoy all the good quiet that you are missing out on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of us, me included, work ninety to nothing to notch out a living, reach the next level, just one more thing to do and I will sit down and relax.

But do we really relax?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is so easy to get wrapped up in our business, our to-do list, being involved in the community.   That is all well and good, however, a little down time is necessary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have to admit, that I am wound a little tight.  I do not “sit” well.

I have to be doing something. When I feel myself getting a little overwhelmed, anxious or not being able to manage things out of my control.  I seek out nature.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking a long walk, I usually find things that fascinate me.  There is so many wonderful delights to behold if we just take the time to notice them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a whole other world that exists outside.  A simple, beautiful world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It just goes on being incredible each day, whether we notice it or not.

I was raised to notice and give thanks for all that nature has to offer.  I married a extremely busy rancher/broker who will always pauses for a beautiful sunset

or to points out a baby animal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting away from the buzzing of the everyday life yields good memories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A bonfire at night with the full moon shining brightly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watching a passing thunderstorm and being enchanted by the delicate light afterward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of our very favorite things to do is going to the river.  Letting our dogs swim and fetch sticks, letting them explore the riverbanks, fields and woods.

Kayaking with the grandkids is the greatest.  Seeing things through their eyes gives me a new splendor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is a shame that many people just sit in their homes with loud quiet all around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not knowing that if they just open a window and hear a bird call, feel the breeze, smell the rain their mood might switch to a more relaxed state of mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I take my own advice, I will disconnect from the first world problems, just for a while each day.  Go outside and feel the earth under my feet, the breeze on my face, watch the clouds float by.

And give thanks for the wonders of the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Go hold the moon in your hand, it is an astonishing feeling.

The loud quiet can wait.

Until next time,

much love,

Cindy

 

Psalm 95:4-5

 

 

 

 

 

Sixty

My 60th birthday is coming up rapidly.

I remember when my grandmother turned 60. I thought she was so old! Even though she was a very vibrant red head with red lipstick and sassy attitude.

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t seems like I just turned around, and I am hitting 60.

I think it is the number that scares me more than the actual event. I definitely do not feel 60.

My Mom did not start her clothing business until she was 58 and her business grew even larger in her 60’s and 70’s.

If my Mom was still with us, she would tell me age is just a number. That you really don’t start living your authentic life until you reach 60. You know enough to see pass drama, pretentiousness and perfidious. To see the real beauty that abounds. She taught me to live in grace, equality and be respectable. To hold tight to the ones you love, but not take any absurdity from anyone.

My Dad has taught me to be brave, courageous, not to be knocked down and keep swinging. To measure twice and cut once. To have a firm handshake and to look people in the eye. That I am capable to do anything I set my mind to. After mom passed away, he found out he had cancer and is still battling it today at almost 86. But he is a fighter, a genius, constantly learning something every day. Dad took up painting a couple of years ago and is remarkable! He paintings are covenant. He still teaches me daily how to live honorable, fight for my principles and to feed the birds.

My life has had lots of ups and downs. Fearful, discouraged, heartbroken and hesitate at times. However, I have more to be thankful for and I am truly blessed.

My brother and sister have been my life line through out my life. My sister in law, Wendy keeps us all grounded. I love her dearly.

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They understand me without saying a word.

I am a proud Aunt of a Marine.  This young man is what makes me proud of our country.  I do not fear our future because of young men and women like Sam.

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I really didn’t start living my true authentic life until I married my husband Steve. He has let me be me. He gets me.

He thinks I look best in jeans, boots covered in cow manure, no makeup or up to my elbows in clay while throwing at the pottery wheel. Steve is truly a God send. It hasn’t always been fun and games, but we have a deep love for each other that no one can come between.

 

 

 

 

Steve has taught me how to work smart, be myself, not let what other think bother me. That I don’t have to be fearful. I love his love for me, the kids, our animals and our families.

 

 

 

Our kids, Misty and David (my step kids, their mom so graciously shares them with me since they were very young), and their spouses, are the most treasured people in my life. They let me be a mom. Something I didn’t think I would be. They have brought me so much happiness, love and goofiness to last a life time. They have given us the most loved grandchildren.

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I think this is what I love most about being 60. My family. Being in a place to enjoy all of them. My heart swells thinking of all of them.

My friends have been with me through thick and thin. I have the best friends in the world! Some I might not see for years, but we pick right back up where we left off. The friends I see daily are like my own shadow. They know my every move, my thoughts and my sarcasm.

This is a new chapter in my life, something I was kind of dreading. But I am now looking forward to what is in store for me.

I have strong women that I have followed to be in this place and have younger people that I need to set an example for.

So, I think I am really going to enjoy my “older” years. I live in the greatest country on earth, live in the best state ever, Texas (!), have my own pottery business, The best husband ever to share our dreams with.  I am surrounded by love, here on earth and from above.

60’s are going to be awesome!

Until next time,

Much love,

Cindy

Philippians 4:13

Support the troops! Keep Sam in your prayers!

A noisy world

Too much.

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It has been a busy, noisy world lately.  Everything is vying for attention. My iPhone buzzes me with breaking news, texts and messages are constantly pinging. Social media is beginning to be a battle field of opinions, mean-spirited posts, and derogatory comments and not enough kindness.  However, I can control that with a flip of the switch.

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Don’t get my wrong, I love my Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest  and twitter.  I love to see what my friends and family are doing.  Events that are coming up, new babies, pets and achievements. Videos of homeruns, slow motion dogs running and art classes.   I love that I have best friends that I have never met,  to feel so connected through conversations and photos we share on social media.  My Fat Cow Studio business counts on this viaduct. One of my favorite things to do, is grab an cup of coffee and flip through instagram, facebook and pinterest.

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But what I want to do is be centered.  To take all that is thrown at me and create my own opinion, my own priority list.  Enough of this rushing through the day not creating, enjoying the beauty around us, hugging a child, petting a beloved animal, talking to a good friend. Flipping the noisy, buzzing, pinging iphone off.  Sit on the porch just listening to the owls and crickets and kissing my husband good night.

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I know what is important, I know my own beliefs and my religion. To take everything into consideration, be fair and equal.  To let my conscience decide which way to go, weighing the good and bad, without judgement,  but at the end, listen to my heart.  I have made many serious and life changing decision with this theory.  It has not led me wrong yet.

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I can honestly say that my belief and opinion has never been changed by a post on facebook.  I have learned that people are just people and they want to be heard.  And that is ok.  I still have my same ol’ friends that I have connected with way back when on blogs, etc and make new ones almost daily.   We have different religions, political views, lifestyles, race and even languages.  I treasure their friendship and want the best for them, as they do for me.

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I guess what I am trying to convey and even convience myself is to live my life within my convictions.  I have made myself a little nutty watching the news, getting caught up in all the viewpoints, controversy and contentions.  It is good to be aware and involved, but we all need a little quiet every now and then.

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For myself, sometimes I need to step back, be still and go gently into the day with a heart full of gratefulness and self-reliance.

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You be you, get your voice heard, stay strong, never back down and keep reaching higher.  Stay true to yourself. I would never take that away from anyone, and would not want to.  That is what makes us great, that is what America was founded on.

That is how God made us, to be free thinkers, if we weren’t, we would just be jelly molds.

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I will be over here.  I will be here for my family, friends and those who depend on me.

Until next time,

xoxo

Cindy

Psalm 27:13-14

My nephew is going to Quantico, Thursday, Sept. 28 as a 2nd LT with the Marines, then on to Pensacola.  Sam is a true American young man.  I am so very proud of him.   Always faithful, always loyal.  Semper Fi and God bless Sam!

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