Pondering and reflections

Happy New Year everyone!

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I took the past holiday season to think about what I wanted my life to look like. Where I wanted to go, what I wanted to create and how I wanted to lead my life.

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I have to do my own soul searching, I have to make myself become quiet, I have to ask questions and seek inspiration.

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I am older and wiser.  I want the rest of my life to be lived with intentions and grace.

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First and foremost, I am more connected to God.  I have been a firm believer in God most of my life and have depended on Him on so many levels. I have seen miracles, had promises delivered, prayers answered and some not answered.  The ones that were not answered, lessons were learned.  I am being more grateful and thankful for all the blessing that I do have.  I do not take one thing or one person in my life for granted.

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Secondly, I am being myself.  I do not require fancy, fictitious or ungenuine.  I love the simple life.  I love to cook dinner, sit on the porch at sunset, take a walk in the woods or watch a good movie on TV. I need my family, their laughter, jokes and love. I need my friends.  I would not be where I am without them. I need my dog, Tess and her ever present ball.

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Third, I am excited about my pottery business.  I am getting lots of sales, orders and great reviews. This makes me tremendously happy.  It is something that I have always wanted to do, and now I have the space and time I need to make this dream come true.

I am not professionally trained, nor do I have all the equipment of a big studio. Some may see it as a hobby or something to occupy my time, but it is not.  It is my profession.  I can look people in the eye and say that I am an artist and be proud of that fact.  My creations are wonky, imperfect and whimsical. Just the way I like it.

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I have also come to realize that this city born and raised girl is a rancher. I love raising cattle!  I love the fact that they all have names and their own personalities. I love that we take such good care of them and provide the best.  Never in my wildest dreams as a child, did I think I would be knee deep in muck, or freezing rain or 100 plus degree heat, feeding huge animals that depend on us daily.  It is truly the best job ever.  (Not many vacations, but just look at this face!)

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I have concluded that people need each other.  That we should be kind to each other and not take others for granted.  To do our best, think before we speak, to respect each other’s opinions and beliefs. But to also fight for our convictions with honor and dignity.

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During the last few weeks of my pondering and reflection,  I have learned that if I discussed my fears and concerns, that does not make me weak.  I have learned that if I am quiet, I am not being withdrawn.  I have learned that the people who truly love you, will always love you.

I am not the same this year as I was last year.  I am a better version of me.  I am trusting in God to lead the way.  I am the salt and the light of the world.

I have this quote written down forever and  I still refer to it often.  At this new year, it is so fitting:

“Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness.”

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“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” Oscar Wilde

xoxo,

Cindy

Isaiah 40:31

 

These times

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“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light” Steve Kloves

 

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I am not really sure what this blog is going to be about.  I have ideas and thoughts running through my mind.  I am not sure how I am supposed to behave and think right now.

I was raised to be kind to everyone and everything.  To not be racist, judgmental or bias. I truly believe that is the only way to live.  I can not judge anyone, it isn’t my job.

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My job is to see everyone as an equal.

But sometimes it is hard.  It doesn’t help that we have 24/7 media coverage of every little thing that is drummed into our head and tries to make it into our hearts.  People from all sides yelling.   I get it, with all the social media, one has to yell to be heard over all the other clammer.

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There are bad people and I know there is evil in the world.   I am fully aware of it.  I have gotten upset with horrible events in the world. It is enough to set me into a tailspin.

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Who is right and who is wrong?  I think we all like being a part of a group that have our thoughts and beliefs.  It is comforting to be with peers that get your ideas. We feel safe. But happens with you are not in 100% agreement? Do we just go along to get along?  Do we stuff our own feelings just to fit in? Do we take a chance and offend someone? We have to dare to stand on our own two feet and face the fear of being a little alone in our beliefs, whether you are left, right, democrats, republican, gay, straight, black or white.

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These times are trying, they are hard.  It can be unnerving to keep an open heart.   I worry sometimes that I am the one that doesn’t get it.  That I should be outraged, that I live in a bubble and not caring what is happening.  But then I think back about what my Mom would have said.  “Take your blinders off and see the good in the world”.

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There is a deafening strife and struggle right now.  It can’t be ignored and it may get loud and unsettling.  But as history as played out, good usually wins, love always wins.

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What I believe in is loving and taking care of our families, friends, neighbors and even strangers.  I believe that kindness starts with a ripple.  Just holding the door for someone, a hello as you pass someone in the hallway, a small conversation with someone standing beside you.  A compliment, a smile, a handshake. An acknowledgment of someone goes along way.

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As Maya Angelou stated “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

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This is something that I have to remind myself of daily.

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It is like the old saying, is your cup half full or half empty? Do you just see the evil or do you see any of the good?

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Today, as in the past, I choose to see my cup as half full.  The mass majority of people are good and want what is best for their family, friends and country.  They work hard to do the right thing, are law-abiding, follow the golden rule and just get on with doing the best they can. Living their lives to the fullest, grabbing all the happiness they can and just plain  loving life.

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Agree or disagree, this is my belief.  Everyone is entitle to their own way of thinking and behaving.  That is what our great nation was founded on. For me, I will continue to strive to be happy and fulfilled.   To love my family, friends, neighbor, our country and the animals that are entrusted to me.   To trust that God will bless us and keep us.

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I am so very blessed with friends and family who see me as an equal,  just as I see them.

If you are still with me and understand my rambling, thank you. I am not a writer, just a girl with a heavy heart who does have an opinion.

Take good care,

xoxox

Cindy

John 13:34

 

 

 

Individualism

I am a drafter by profession.

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The “old style” of drafting and design is still in my blood.

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Instead of the computer aided drafting I use today..

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where all the drawings look the same..

Same font, same north arrows, same leader lines, same everything.  No individuality.

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As a child, I would play with my dad’s drafting tools and I developed my own style.

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In high school and college, we were encouraged to incorporate
our artistic ability into our designs.

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I loved the way each designer had their own style. Some drawings were very clean and simple,
others were quite fancy.

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My first drafting jobs were board work, it took longer to do a drawing and each drafter’s drawings were a work of art.

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Now days it is quicker to produce a large drawing on the computer, but the artistic integrity is gone.

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I guess we really do live in a “big box” society…
everything needs to be quicker, easier and massed produced.

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After hours of following corporate standards, nothing gives me more pleasure than to pull out the mechanical pencil, twirl it around in the old school sharpener and make a fine stroke on vellum paper.

DSC_2148I have my Dad’s old drafting set, that I cherish.   I have picked up old slide rules, curves, sharpeners, pencils and books along the way.  It reminds me of the old ways and how much pride there was using these tools of trade.  I can’t pass up old drafting tools in antique malls and estate sales!

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It is nice to be part of a community of bloggers, friends and locals who are true artists, designers, writers, bakers, photographers, etc., who take pride in their individualism and encourage other artists to do the same.

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In this great big world, we are still individuals..

Have a great day!

xox

Cindy

Galatians 6:4

 

Being Articulate

With the signs of spring emerging, the frequent sounds of bird songs and baby calves being born, I have a renewed understanding of what it is to be articulate.

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I am not talking about being articulate in my speech pattern, but being articulate in the way I perceive life around me.

I tend to get lackadaisical sometimes and just go through the motions of the day.  I get caught up in my own standard-issued life with blinders on.  Spring always wakes me up a bit and gets my juices flowing again.

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I start to see what is outside the gate.  The wildflowers that have popped up overnight.  The bird’s nest on my trellis and the green grass.  When I take my blinders off and really look around, life is happening and going on with itself whether I participate or not.  A beautiful life.

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I have learned that I have to listen to the rhythm of what God and nature are trying to tell me.   I have to be diligent to keep my mind focused on seeing the signs that are put before me.

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After some troubling news my family had lately, I was walking, meditating and praying for a sign that everything would be ok.  As I was just aimlessly wandering along the river, I found a tiny little heart carved into a rock.  I really believe it is a sign from the Heavens that our prayers will be answered.  He was articulate in His response to my prayer.

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Nature is very articulate and deliberate.  It shows up, lives it’s best life, makes the very best of every situation and moves on.  It does not dwell on the should haves and didn’t haves.  I truly believe that is what our Higher Power intended us to do.  I have been equipped with the necessary tools to live my life to it’s fullest.

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We live in extraordinary times.  New technology, new discoveries and ample freedom.  I can talk to my brother who travels the globe with a click of a send button.  I can order beautiful art from another state whom I would have never known of without the internet.  I have friends from all over the world who have become very near to me through blogs, Facebook and Instagram.

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However, I have tunnel vision lately.  Checking my iPhone for updates and posts.  Seeing other’s beautiful gardens and travels when I have missed my own.

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My garden is coming alive with perennials and herbs.  My travels may not be far, but our little country farm  and town offers plenty of sights and charm.  That is what I am trying to achieve, to be articulate in my thoughts, my sight and through listening.  To not rehearse my life, but to live it.  The good, bad, scary and ordinary life.

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I watch my young grandsons play with full intension and focus.  A pile of caliche stone, a few old toy trucks and a plastic cup makes for hours of fun.  I have learned to have fun doing small things through them.  That wading in a cold creek in February is fun, running as fast we can, skipping and throwing rocks is the best thing ever.  They live an articulate life because they haven’t been told not to.

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I know that life can not be easy and our world is in turmoil.  We are bombarded daily with horrible news, sick friends and family.  We have to pay attention to what is going on around us and participate in our convictions.   But that doesn’t mean we have to be callous and stolid.

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There is joy, happiness and love…all around.  Life needs participation and excitement.  It is spring, a renewal of the spirit and mind.  Let’s pay attention to life’s details and delight in all that is offered daily.

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“Life stands before me like an eternal spring with new and brilliant clothes.”  Carl Friedrich Gauss

 

Pray, send comforting thought and positive energy to Brussels, our men and women in uniform and fighting bravely for our country.

Have a wonderful day!

xoxo,

Cindy

Song Of Solomon 2:11-12